Castle Golf World Crazy Golf Championship 2008

October 25-26, Hastings, England

The Ace Man makes it Number 5!!

Picture: Nat

Jo Williamson takes the Ladies Trophy!!!

Picture: Marion

 

A Panda, a Teddy bear and Woody II – it had to be the World Crazy Golf Championships!

A new sponsor has stepped into the breach, Castle Golf 

(purveyors of the finest adventure golf courses in the World.)

 

The forum was hot with thrust and counter thrust. The poll had Andy Exall & Tim Davies as joint favourites with n'er do well Big Top 3rd, or should that be nerd? Reigning champion Chris 'Who' Harding was also fancied as was Sean 'FreeBird' Homer and John 'Thighs' Moore, each receiving 3 votes apiece. Somebody actually voted for Pasi and Mr Empton, a sad day for the forums credibility!

Friday October 24th – free practice

The courses heaved with talent as the wannabes strutted their stuff midst gloomy skies.  

The gathered were in for a treat, the British Matchplay Championships Semi Final - Andy 'No2' Exall v Trevor 'Pumbah' Exall for the honour of facing the BIG I AM - Ace Man.  A significant number had thought Ace Man should have been given a place in the final from the start, but no, he had to vanquish many a foe.  He was waiting. 

Two mighty mini golfing gladiators stood awaiting the match of the day, enough of the spectators. Pumbah and No.2 were centre stage, each dressed in wussy waterproofs. The arena a waterlogged Hastings seafront crazy golf. Wet and windy hardly described the scene, it pretty much described Andy Exall though as he tried desperately to upset Trevor on the forum prior to the game. Cheap shots each and everyone, reminiscent of his banning from the Shearbarn Caravan Park. Pumbah was serene in his obliviousness. The scene was set for the most epic encounter of the competition so far. Pasi, the scorer, was not the nominated tosser, of the coin, Pumbah was. Could Pumbah torpedo No.2's hopes of a final berth? Brothers, victorious doubles partners cruelly pitted against each other, each deserved of a place in the final. Well, not really. The hearts were with Pumbah, the minds were frankly somewhere else. Ace Man meanwhile was hatching a cunning plan that would see them both disqualified before the end of the round. Unfortunately he spent the round scooping, not poop, with Pet. So nothing came of it. Andy blasted out of the gates with an ace to take an early lead on the first. Pumbah hit back by acing the third. Andy aced the 4th to take the lead back only to lose it on the next with the only three of the round. Horns remained locked until the 15th where Andy once more took the lead. The match seemed to hinge on the 16th where Andy left with a stinker had it conceded. Schoolboy error, all that potty training wasted! All the rest of the holes were twoed. Andy deservedly won one up. A cracking tense affair. Shame Andy's going to be trounced in the final. One number should do it. 26!!

A lot of those watching must have picked up a lot of useful information on how not to play the seafront crazy golf.  

Later that afternoon, Timmy 'Major Mayhem' and Huwy 'Captain Chaos' were unleashed on the unsuspecting Chris 'Who' Harding. Unfortunately Huwy gave too many lines away. Reception class error!

The cream of the British Minigolf Association had to forego practice for an Executive Committee meeting.  The selflessness, altruism at its best.  The others must have been thinking they had a chance.  Ace Man's motion to sack Ted from the EC failed, not even a twelve week suspension was forthcoming, so he laid in to the sandwiches instead. Why wasn't Big Top in Eastern Europe?  But unfortunately for the rest of the field Ace Man and Big Top managed one more round on the mini before lights out.  It was to be crucial.  One not so lucky was Kevin Moseley who arrived just as the two remaining players left.  And in the failing floodlights a lone figure was seen crawling over the course Gollum-like, stroking the hallowed felt.

This year we were without Olivia 'Phenome' Prokopova who was playing in a minor competition in the States.  And though threatening,  Jouni, 2 time British open winner never showed up.  Thank Gawd!!  But we are promised real soon that Matty 'Whirlwind' Exall will be coming off the Exall conveyor belt.

Saturday October 25th Day 1

4 rounds - 2 on crazy golf, 2 on mini golf

Whilst fell runners dived for cover, crazy golfers came out smiling.  No doubt having just read a pre release copy of Nutters with Putters.

John Moore made a welcome return having been suspended from the liver transplant list. Odd for a liver transplant to be rejected by an outside body? At least it meant this time he wouldn't have to try and arrange a private jet to get him back to the hospital.  Alex 'Ice Cold' Exall made his debut.

This was to be a weekend of links crazy golf at its utmost.  Wind and lashings of rain.  Highly unusual in Sunny Hastings!

At the end of the first four rounds Ace Man led Who & Pasi by four shots. McUseless was a further shot behind, alongside Jo 'Cupcake' Williamson.    British International Richard 'Squire' Gottfried was flying high in 6th only six off the lead.  Peter 'Mr Empton' Emmerson had managed to average 6.5 at the mini 12th but still put in two reasonable rounds on the mini golf to sit in 9th.  Johnny Moore was in 11th having shot an excellent 32 on the crazy golf course, a score equalled by Pasi.  However he can't have been that happy as he was leading the field after 2 rounds.  

There were only 15 shots covering the top 18 places. 

On the Saturday evening we had the pleasure of the British Matchplay Finals.  Tim won the toss and elected to play second. Ace Man wins 5&4, simple as that.  Another potential usurper of his throne was dispatched unceremoniously. But would this come and haunt him? The lonely drive to Paddock Wood must have been one of self-recrimination as when No.2 returned he was full of resolve. Or was it the goading of a band of brothers noted for their caring side – not! Terry 'The Gift' Exall, top Exall, must have been hard to bear even for a Hammers fan who must have got used to poor performances by now. And Den was hard on his heels, followed by the much more talented Phil and inexplicably in last place in this quintet was Trevor. Alex only two shots behind him. Andy couldn't have passed water for a week given what would have been taken.  No toilet breaks indeed!

Sunday October 26th Day 2

2 rounds - 1 on crazy golf, 1 on mini golf.  Top 18 go through to the final round

On this day in 1955 'Rebel Without a Cause', starring James Dean, opened in America.  The Ace Man, rebel he may be or just plain annoying to some, had a cause.  To reclaim, his precious.  He'd even brought along a film crew so the World could see him do it.  The weather had worsened and a few non-hardy souls dropped out.  Jas Kukielka had played through the first day in great discomfort and drugged up to the eyeballs, he had to concede to the pain. His loyal family, Cindy, Seve & Leo followed.  Cindy unfortunately was last, again.  Had Jas been randomly drug tested it would have outdone any before in professional sport.  None of your LemSip No.2!

Andy 'No2' Exall put in an excellent finish with 71 over the two courses, as did Kevin Moseley with 70 but Sean 'Freebird' Homer outdid them both with a magnificent 69!

Richard Gottfried had a touch of vertigo as he crashed down but not out.  He scraped into the final round edging out the Hastings Observer pundits choice, Brad 'The Fist' Shepherd.

Tim Sutton hit a faultless 36 in his final round on the mini, if only he'd played better on the crazy he would have made the finals.  Trevor Exall, by his standards, was hopeless on the mini averaging over 44!!  Den averaged 42, need I say more.  And Woody II piloted by Phil Botto stunned the crazy golf world by ending up 27th overall.  Rocky Outcrop won the White Rock Hotel Aces Trophy.

Most important of all the Robertsons.  Who won?  If Debs hadn't retired from the game, she'd have won, probably. It was Mart, sporting tartan tammy and shocking orange hair, with Trevino a further 6 shots behind.  Well Done Mart!! Janette, Mart & Trevino's mum, was only a couple of places further back, but what a gutsy performance in the worst weather the event has been played in.  Fell runners you're a disgrace!  She was rightly rewarded with 'Personality of the Tournament.'

The class of the Planet Hastings team came to the fore, as six players River Danced their way to the final 18. Ace, Jo, Nick, Ted, Mr Empton and Dave 'Film Star' Harding - this time he made it!  Tim Sutton missed out, sadly 'His Excellency' wasn't and F1's thoughts were on some racetrack somewhere.

The Final round (Crazy crazy golf rules)

The final grouping of Pasi Aho, Chris 'Who' Harding and Tim 'Ace Man' Davies took to the course. Ace led Pasi by three with Chris a further shot behind. They were ripping it up.  Chris went three under after four and must have felt he was now in with a chance.  However, Ace Man was two under over the same four holes and still in control.  On to the 5th, the Windmill hole. Pasi blocked Who, Ace Man decided to forego the Ace for position and watched both his challengers take 3.  The Big I AM aced the 7th to restore his buffer.  But if you lose concentration anything can happen and it did on the 8th.  DONG!  DING!!   The dong was the ball hitting the waterwheel, the ding was the putter hitting it on the second shot.  Ace even got clattered into the corner by Who and ended up with a four.  Game on again!  All parred up until the 10th.  All threed the Washington Monument.  Who pushed on acing the 13th and then the 16th to go 2 under for the round.  It all hinged on Ace Man's next shot which was perfect and there was a mighty Grrrrr.  With a three shot lead Ace Man could afford to be cautious and was.  Pasi bogeyed the 17th, Who and Ace parred.  Ace went over the helter skelter, as did Who and Pasi.  Game over.  Ace took a very safe 3 on the 18th for the Championship.

Meanwhile Andy Exall had shot up the leader board with a 33 and claimed 3rd, edging out Pasi.  Jo Williamson took the Ladies title and 5th place only one shot behind Pasi.  She also beat her partner Nick ' Top Hole' Chitty by one shot.  What a great day for her!!  McWhyDoesHeBother came 7th. Even a seagull felt obliged to comment on his performance.  Or did it just put the muckers on him? Sean 'Freebird' Homer powered up to 8th .  Peter Emmerson, 9th must be rueing the 12th on the mini, only 9 shots behind the winner and he took 13 shots on that one hole in two rounds!  He must also be cursing the Gods of crazy golf, losing a play-off for 8th and the chance of £50 Sterling Cash in Hand.  Nothing worse than when it goes wrong Sealand style!  Kevin Moseley, one hour less of a drive on the Friday would have made all the difference, with no praccy 10th is good, very very good.  Johnny 'Thighs' Moore in 12th, what a star! 

Thanks to David & Marion and the rest of the staff at the Seafront Crazy Golf.  And the referees, squidgers and scoopers in the final round.  Great stuff by Keith 'Doc' Kellard to help in the organisation and come 11th.  You all did a fantastic job!

A couple of questions for you.

Who are the only two players to have played in every final round of the World Crazy Golf Championships?

Isn't it about time Channel 4 repeated Grudge Match again?

Personality of the tournament: Janette Robertson

Picture: Marion

Marion's pictures on Flickr

Pos Name Nat Courses R1 R2 R3 R4 R5 R6 Final Total Diff Average Par

Prize (£)
1 DAVIES, Tim WAL MCMCMCX 33 35 38 35 38 35 36 250 5 35.71 -2 1,000
2 HARDING, Chris ENG MCMCMCX 36 35 38 36 40 33 34 252 7 36.00 Level 750
3 EXALL, Andy ENG CMCMMCX 35 39 38 38 37 34 33 254 6 36.29 +2 500
4 AHO, Pasi FIN CMCMMCX 32 41 34 38 37 35 38 255 7 36.43 +3 250
5 WILLIAMSON, Jo ENG CMCMMCX 35 36 38 37 41 33 36 256 10 36.57 +4 200
6 CHITTY, Nick ENG CMCMMCX 36 40 34 41 39 33 34 257 5 36.71 +5 150
7 MCIVER, Ted SCO MCMCMCX 37 38 36 35 42 34 36 258 10 36.86 +6 100
8 HOMER, Sean ENG MCMCMCX 36 37 41 41 37 32 35 259 14 37.00 +7 50
9 EMMERSON, Peter SEA MCMCMCX 40 40 35 34 42 33 35 259 14 37.00 +7  
10 MOSELEY, Kevin ENG MCMCMCX 45 36 39 36 36 34 35 261 11 37.29 +9  
11 KELLARD, Keith ENG CMCMMCX 34 41 38 35 38 36 40 262 10 37.43 +10  
12 MOORE, John ENG MCMCMCX 36 32 41 41 41 34 37 262 14 37.43 +10  
13 EXALL, Philip ENG CMCMMCX 35 44 38 40 37 37 33 264 10 37.71 +12  
14 BOTTO, Kevin ENG MCMCMCX 39 37 41 39 39 35 35 265 6 37.86 +13  
15 HARDING, Dave ENG CMCMMCX 37 40 36 40 42 34 38 267 5 38.14 +15  
16 NORMAN, Alan ENG CMCMMCX 39 37 39 41 39 35 37 267 8 38.14 +15  
17 GOTTFRIED, Richard ENG CMCMMCX 35 37 35 40 50 34 37 268 14 38.29 +16  
18 EXALL, Terry ENG MCMCMCX 39 35 38 37 46 36 38 269 10 38.43 +17  
19 BULLIN, Bill ENG CMCMMC 33 41 35 43 44 36   232 6 38.67 +16  
19 SHEPHERD, Brad ENG CMCMMC 33 42 34 44 42 37   232 6 38.67 +16  
21 BULLIN, Ruth ENG MCMCMC 39 44 38 35 40 36   232 11 38.67 +16  
22 BULLIN, Rocky SCO MCMCMC 40 40 45 35 41 33   234 12 39.00 +18  
23 EXALL, Trevor ENG CMCMMC 36 44 37 45 44 34   240 4 40.00 +24  
24 JONES, Chris ENG MCMCCM 41 41 43 37 38 41   241 6 40.17 +25  
25 SUTTON, Tim ENG CMCMCM 39 40 43 42 41 36   241 10 40.17 +25  
26 CORKETT, David ENG MCMCMC 40 41 41 35 45 39   241 11 40.17 +25  
27 BOTTO, Phil ENG MCMCMC 39 42 46 34 41 40   242 15 40.33 +26  
28 POPE, Anthony SEA MCMCMC 39 36 43 40 48 37   243 13 40.50 +27  
29 DENT, Russ ENG CMCMMC 35 45 35 42 47 41   245 11 40.83 +29  
29 STARR, Glen ENG MCMCCM 40 37 45 42 36 45   245 11 40.83 +29  
31 EXALL, Denis ENG CMCMMC 41 39 35 42 45 43   245 14 40.83 +29  
32 CLEMENTS, Steve ENG CMCMCM 38 45 39 44 41 40   247 8 41.17 +31  
33 GOW, Stephen ENG CMCMMC 36 41 37 45 50 38   247 11 41.17 +31  
34 RYE, Mark WAL MCMCMC 40 39 38 41 52 37   247 18 41.17 +31  
35 HOLMES, Gareth ENG MCMCCM 33 43 47 43 44 38   248 15 41.33 +32  
36 KELLETT, Anthony ENG CMCMCM 43 44 43 46 40 37   253 12 42.17 +37  
37 FORREST, David ENG CMCMCM 40 46 38 46 40 46   256 2 42.67 +40  
38 EXALL, Alex ENG MCMCCM 40 44 43 37 47 46   257 16 42.83 +41  
39 STILLMAN, Mark ENG CMCMCM 41 47 38 47 47 39   259 17 43.17 +43  
40 WHITEHOUSE, Paul ENG CMCMCM 40 50 42 42 41 45   260 10 43.33 +44  
41 MARTINEZ, Carlos ENG MCMCCM 48 41 47 41 41 44   262 4 43.67 +46  
42 PARSONS, Neil ENG CMCMCM 47 44 40 46 45 40   262 13 43.67 +46  
43 GOTTFRIED, Emily ENG MCMCCM 42 37 49 46 47 44   265 17 44.17 +49  
44 WOODLAND, Rob ENG MCMCCM 48 41 51 44 41 42   267 12 44.50 +51  
45 FORREST, Susan ENG MCMCCM 42 40 50 51 41 43   267 19 44.50 +51  
46 TRAYHORN, Ben ENG CMCMCM 40 45 45 51 38 49   268 13 44.67 +52  
47 LEWIS, Ian WAL CMCMCM 42 48 40 49 44 50   273 6 45.50 +57  
48 WELLS, Oliver ENG CMCMCM 42 48 46 43 49 47   275 12 45.83 +59  
49 WOODWARD, John ENG CMCMCM 40 51 45 44 52 44   276 19 46.00 +60  
50 TARRANT, Maurice ENG MCMCCM 44 43 51 42 50 49   279 15 46.50 +63  
51 ROBERTSON, Martin ENG MCMCCM 44 45 45 43 54 49   280 16 46.67 +64  
52 HOLLOWAY, Janet ENG MCMCCM 47 51 51 39 51 46   285 17 47.50 +69  
53 ROBERTSON, Trevor ENG MCMCCM 50 43 49 41 47 56   286 13 47.67 +70  
54 HAGERTY, Emma-Jayne WAL CMCMCM 44 51 59 47 46 46   293 20 48.83 +77  
55 ROBERTSON, Janette ENG MCMCCM 52 48 59 42 54 42   297 29 49.50 +81  
56 GORRINGE, Louise ENG CMCMCM 50 63 44 48 50 54   309 21 51.50 +93  
57 HAZLEHURST, Paul ENG MCMCCM 50 42 50 42 44 126   354 78 59.00 +138  
58 INGLIS, Gordon ENG CMCMCM 48 59 41 50 40 126   364 84 60.67 +148  
59 KUKIELKA, Seve WAL MCMC 43 40 41 38       162 4 40.50 +18  
60 RYE, Paul ENG MCMC 41 42 44 42       169 3 42.25 +25  
61 HORTON, Robert ENG CMCM 38 43 43 50       174 12 43.50 +30  
62 PEACOCK, Philip ENG MCMC 46 39 50 40       175 5 43.75 +31  
63 KUKIELKA, Jas WAL CMCM 45 44 39 47       175 9 43.75 +31  
64 MARSH, Alan ENG CMCM 38 49 50 47       184 14 46.00 +40  
65 KUKIELKA, Leo WAL CMCM 43 52 44 49       188 4 47.00 +44  
66 EVANS, Ed ENG CMCM 44 55 38 53       190 8 47.50 +46  
66 GIBBINS, Frederick ENG MCMC 47 45 54 44       190 8 47.50 +46  
68 KUKIELKA, Cindy WAL CMCM 49 45 46 55       195 13 48.75 +51  

 

Hole by hole scores (PDF)

Previous results: 2003   2004   2005   2006   2007

Pictures of the courses: Crazy Golf   Mini Golf

 

Winner Average

Top 3 Average

Finalists Average

Number of Finalists

Difference between first and last finalist

2008

35.71

36.00

37.18

18

19

2007

35.43

36.33

38.01

18

32

2006

36.14

36.62

38.08

18

26

2005

36.86

37.10

37.69

12

12

2004

34.00

36.14

39.38

12

51

2003

38.86

39.48

41.25

12

30