Planet Hastings Crazy Golf Club Open 2007

(A tribute to Stephen Potter - 'Gamesmanship' is alive and well)

Ace Man makes it three in a row

One million offered for first place, Bombay mix offered for third place - that's quite a drop in prize money!!!
The 2006 Planet Hastings Crazy Golf Club Open is fondly remembered by players and spectators alike for the spectacular display of precipitation that greeted them at Clambers.  Would a similar meteorological calamity strike Britain's top crazy golfers? As it turned out Hurricane Harding blew into town and took on Drizzle Davies.

Poor Dennis Exall found himself drawn in a group of two schoolboys and a film crew following the every putt of 12 year old Midlands Open champion and 2013 world crazy golf champion Rocky "the rock" Bullin.
The format of Planet Hastings involves shambolic organisation, rubbish prizes and 72 holes of miniature golf played on 4 courses.

After the first round British number two Chris Harding had already established a 4 shot lead over British number one Tim Davies. In second place with a PB of 37 was the number 2 crazy golfer in the world, Andy Exall.  In third place Brad 'The Fist' Shepherd, and like Andy, must have fancied his chances with mini and crazy to come.  And in fourth place croquet playing, marathon running, Rubrik's cube solving and soon to be Bombay mix eating John Moore, Angel of the North.  Where was the Angel of the South? Jon Angel, British number four had been invited this Saturday to Wembley Stadium.  As a Spurs fan it could be many many years till his next visit.
Someone who'll never be going to Wembley is Queens Park Rangers supporter Elliott Selby whose 39 put him into third place.  The next 2 rounds though his ball always seemed to avoid the drop - something he fervently hopes QPR will.  
One excellent piece of golf etiquette was perpetrated by Ted McIver on the mini golf, allowing the two ball group of Davies and Matt Lelliott to play through, having timed it to take place on the fifth.
As McIver and his two playing partners watched, Davies thrashed out a 4 in windy conditions.  McIver, having watched the difficulties posed hit a 2, however smugness was to eventually choke McIver on the last few holes of mini golf.

Though having a tricky day Rocky Bullin managed to win - on the designated lucky holes - a bottle of whisky (which his parents confiscated, why was he allowed to play for it?) and a Don Estelle signed LP (which his parents let him keep) featuring Don singing" If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me."  Sean Homer won the best of Haircut 100 and Nick Heyward (according to the back of the CD Nick is comparable to Lennon and McCartney in his richly crafted songs, I might compare him more to Don Estelle.)
Richard Penfound was the lucky winner of an Aceman Davies worn sock, with accompanying letter of authenticity. Richard forgetfully left it behind, but luckily Matt Lelliott, his Brighton team mate remembered to take it back for him.
Unfortunately this now means Tim Davies only has 3 socks in his sock drawer now, what happened to the designated sub Andy Exall?
So after playing crazy golf, mini golf and adventure golf Chris Harding was still leading, Tim Davies had made it up to second and John Moore was now fighting for third place with Trevor Exall and Ruth Bullin.
On to Clambers where the friendly staff had a range of tasty cold drinks at very reasonable prices awaiting the players.
That's Clambers, White Rock Hastings - the Adventure golf course for those that like adventure, and tasty cold drinks at reasonable prices.
Andy Booth won an illustrated bible to go with is Bakelite thing and Dave Forrest despite apparently losing to his wife, Suzan on overall scores (he has currently launched an appeal at the Court of Human rights-miniature golf sub division at the Hague) [And yes we got that wrong :) ] had the consolation of seeing the organisers write him a cheque for £35 after acing the unaceable ninth. 
Trevino Robertson took the all important Robertson family prize with Janette second and Mart getting the wooden spoon. If only Debs had been there!

Over the last round the tenth hole ended the challenge of Trevor Exall and the 15th blew out Hurricane Harding.  Still, surprisingly he was top Exall. 
Allowing the most despised player in living memory to win his third Planet Hastings in a row, this along with clearing the course at Clambers, power washing the course at Clambers, clearing the rubbish out of the streams at Clambers, taking the newts out of the rubbish and putting them back into the water at Clambers, providing tasty yet economical drinks at Clambers, organising the entire tournament (sing the theme tune, play the theme tune.....)
Amazing and astounding if only he could keep himself as tidy as the course.

Chris Jones won a bulldog ball which he decided to trade in for a special Guinness ball.
Andy Exall finally won his first ever play off getting an emu book and a 1997 Syrian Times.
There was a third place play off between British internationals Ruth Bullin and John Moore.  John won on the first.
Winning for himself the much coveted giant bag of Bombay mix.
Chris Harding second for the second year running won a giant vintage picture of 1930s crazy golf- "free crazy golf while your suit is pressed" now there's a business idea!
Chris rather reluctantly declined to carry it on the train to London, underground to Euston and train back to Birmingham as he wasn't sure which room his wife would like it in.
A £20 note seemed a bit easier to take home and more likely to find favour from Mrs Chris.
And so to first place, the splendid trophy presented by local film maker James Green who had also won the handsome sum of £2 after a 4 hole play off. And Tim also became the first Miniature golfer ever to win ONE MILLION.
When was the last time you saw a million marks? Well apart from on Tim's coat.
In 1923 one million marks would have got you a comb in the Weimar republic, Germanys hyper inflation further polarising society, bankrupting thousands and paving the way for , well that's another story.
This small piece of paper, mute witness to broken dreams ,crippled lives, hope and despair, birth, death, the clink of glasses and the shattering of windows, walls of fire and crumble of buildings had become part of history again - the 2007 Planet Hastings Open.

Many Thanks, as always, to Marion & David on the seafront courses.

Words: Ted McIver

*After play off

Full results 2006  2005  2004  2003   2002   2001

Hastings Seafront Crazy Golf  Home of The World Crazy Golf Championships. Current BMGA record 32, Big Top Ted McIver, Tim 'Ace Man' Davies, Brad Shepherd (17/10/2004) & Ruth Bullin (22/1/2006).  Current Planet Hastings CGC record is 30, Tim 'Ace Man' Davies (29/1/2006).  Worst score 50, Peter 'El Presidente' Parr 16/3/2003. Most aces in a round, 7, Bill Bullin 13/11/2005.  <review> <pics>

Hastings Seafront Minigolf  Current Planet Hastings CGC record & BMGA record is 33, Tim 'Ace Man' Davies (16/10/2004) & Bill Bullin.  All-comers tournament play record 32, Olivia Prokopova (Cze). Worst score 57, Big Top Ted McIver 20/1/2002.  Greatest winning margin 15 shots, Ace Man beat Big Top 20/1/2002. Most aces in a round, 7, Tim  'Ace Man' Davies 9/9/2006<review> <pics>

Hastings Seafront Adventure Golf Current Planet Hastings CGC record Tim 'Ace Man' Davies 34 (24/3/2006). Current BMGA record Tim 'Ace Man' Davies 35 (4/2/2006).  Worst score 52, Big Top Ted McIver (25/9/2003). <review> <pics>

Clambers  Home of the BMGA British Open and home to Planet Hastings Crazy Golf Club.  Official Club night record - 33 - Big Top Ted McIver (11&18/6/2001) and Tim 'Ace Man' Davies (25/6/2001 & 2/7/2001(twice)).  Worst score - 60 - Rocky 'Harry Putter' Bullin.  Current Official Tournament, BMGA, PHCGC & course record 28, Tim 'Ace Man' Davies (14/9/2003), Torgny Kjellstrom (10/9/2006). Most aces in a round, 9 (13/9/2003) Ace Man <review> <pics>