The finest putters from the UK and a couple of no-hopers from Sealand travelled to the South Coast for the third Brighton Open. Betwixt the Volks railway (Half Way Station) and the Max Miller Walk nestled on Madeira Drive, Peter Pan Adventure Golf course is a real test of technique and resolve. Those in the know had arrived the day before for some serious praccy, even paying £9 a day to park, others thinking they could just turn up on the day were to have their dreams dashed against the raggedy Brighton Rock. Amongst those in attendance on the Friday were the Bullins, Chris 'Who' Harding (British number 1 and World Crazy Golf Champion), Tim 'Ace Man' Davies, the crew from the cafe next door (which served a fine latte and splendid Cornish pastie and moreish sausage roll), Jacob Stevenson (last years winner), Ant & Pet (Sealand) and Sean 'FreeBird' Homer, the British MiniGolf Association President. The psychological games were in full flow as Ace Man took a latte off FreeBird in the first praccy round, then his pride in the next. He had nothing left to play for in the final round and lost that too. A disconsolate president sulked off back to Kent, his feathers well and truly clipped.

The event got top billing on Meridian on Friday night as Roy Morris, the course owner, demonstrated ace after ace. This was followed by some excellent coverage on BBC Southern Counties radio next morning as Richard 'Cut Throat' Penfound explained the intricacies of crazy golf between listeners' recollections of DIY successes. How does a woman put together a flat-pack table? And Richard, how did the British team do in Iceland?

The pundits and forummers had their say. Event favourites were Jacob Stevenson, Spaceman and Who. Knowledgeable lot the forummers.

Notable absentees were John 'Thighs' Moore, through real illness (it has to be said though he was dreadful in last years BriO) and John 'Big Top Ted' McIver who was searching for his brain cell in his hanky, which was believed lost the night before.

The seasoned pros arrived early next morn, paid their £9 to park and prepared for four rounds of competition. New notes were scribbled down, players were spied upon, the atmosphere was eclectic. Last years third place player and British number two Andy 'No.2' Exall was late (no doubt due to his brother Terry), hadn't practised the course and had a bagful of excuses at the ready. Was this Big Top Ted in disguise?

The klaxon sounded, loins were girded and the games began. Local favourite Jacob Stevenson came out strong and led the field with 2 under par along with Brad 'The Fist' Shepherd, Bill 'The Conqueror' Bullin and Matt 'Lel' Lelliott (must work on that soubriquet Matt!)  Closely followed by Who and Ruth 'Plate Thrower' Bullin, one shot behind. Menacingly the shadow of Ace Man stalked the leaders a further shot behind.

After the second round, the field started to space out as Jacob continued to make the pace and the ace. Five shots separated the top seven.

Following the third round the groups were reorganised into score order and Jacob continued his hold. The Conqueror carried on his steady decline as did Chris 'Stretch' Jones (Ex World Conker Champion.) Lel bounced back with a creditable 25 and was back in contention.

The final round was a tense affair and The Fist took one on the chin carding a 29. He still managed to finish ahead of Gareth Holmes, who improved throughout finishing sixth. Ace Man finally made his move, striking into the very nether regions of his foes. He equalled the best score of the day, 23 and snuck in front of Who and Plate Thrower. But Jacob was the man of the moment he won by a clear three shots. When will he join the BMGA?

Finally there was a play-off for the art. Lel brushed the others aside.

Richard Gottfried beat Christopher Gottfried, the Squirearchy hierarchy was in tact. Andy Exall beat Terry Exall, the relief was palpable. Trevor 'Trevino' Robertson probably wouldn't have beaten Debs but she decided to chat up the young men instead. Kevin 'Legendus Maximus Broken Ankelus' Botto miraculously carded a 24 in the second round and overcame a Woodyless Phil Botto. Simon Locksley suffering from the shock of the exorbitant taxi ride on Friday night (£45 and they beat the driver down) as well as visiting a publican friend still managed to drag out a 24 in the 3rd round. Dave Forrest beat Sue Forrest, but only by 3 shots. Marion 'Double Trouble' was trying to focus on not eating chocolate in preparation for her 5K run in aid of the National Autism Society.  Otherwise I'm sure she would have beaten FreeBird.  Rumour is that after the first round thrashing FreeBird received from Double Trouble (4 shots), he produced a selection of choccy bars to confuse his Mrs further.  Top Seal was Peter 'Empton' Emmerson in 10th followed by Anthony 'His Excellency' Pope 17th. Ant & Pet, perhaps TV hosting might be more appropriate or even a series of children's books under the pseudonym of Ant & P. The helicopter ride back to the fortress must have been long indeed. Cut Throat failed in his goal of making the top 10.

And then there was the ritual presentation, much against No.2’s wishes of the ceremonial fiver! Isn’t it great to have a brother like Tel!!

Many Thanks to our host, Roy Morris and to Richard Penfound (who found out what Karma was really all about) for organising. Organising and winning a tournament is not easy! And to the rest of Team Brighton who made everyone very welcome. And let's not forget the weather forecasters who got the weather hopelessly wrong again, heavy rain = occasional spit - bless em, bless em all.

The tour moves on to Planet Hastings for the British Championships July 12-13th.