BMGA Christmas Party

Inner City Challenge - no talc on the dance floor please

Inner city life rubbed raw on the streets-hooded figures toking reefers stagger menacingly round burnt out cars bums spittle flecked tongues lick stubble as they leer at the crack whores.

Into such an environment the St Aloysius working man's club welcomed minigolfers from round the country as the second BMGA xmas party began. Fittingly it staged the 5 hole URBAN minigolf CHALLENGE.
Each hole was imaginatively constructed; hole one a wicket complete with stumps, bat and cricket ball, hole 2 a bowling lane incorporating skittles, hole 3 a 3 dimensional crossword, hole 4 had traffic cones one way signs and directional bollards while hole 5 looked like part of skylab's fuselage.
Ironic that the winner of URBAN GOLF should be the epitome of suburban golf. Mr spoon himself, Lionel Bender. Whilst the kids with their crazy haircuts, tongue in cheek ring tones and I-pods raced round the kourse kreating kaos, Mr Lionel folded up his Sunday Gardening supplement, wiped a fleck of pesto sauce from his cream chinos and shot a benderlicious 9 including 2 aces. To the soundtrack of Kenny Loggins "footloose" Lionel didn't put a foot loose. Despite the best efforts of two putt shakur, the notorious bigtop, putt daddy, angelman and killerkellard, nothing could ruffle the unruffleable, nor flap the unflappable.
When at the end someone asked Lionel if he liked Ice T he replied that he was more a latte man.
To rapturous booing Lionel strutted up to claim his trophy- a pyramid box of ferrera rocher with a blue golf ball sellotaped to the top. Another trophy to go next to his 2004 Senior championship and err all the other ones. Sadly Lionel keeps all his trophies on the mantlepiece over his log fire- chocolate sauce anyone?

Words: Big Top

Selected results:

Lionel 9 (2,2,1,1,3)
Ted 11 (2,2,2,3,2)
Russ 11 (2,2,2,2,3)
Jon A 11 (3,2,2,2,2)
Jamie 12 (2,4,3,2,1)
Nico 13 (2,3,5,1,2)
Will 14 (2,3,2,3,4)
John M 15 (2,3,1,2,7)
Steve 15 (2,2,2,2,7)
Keith 15 (2,4,3,3,3)
Will 17 (2,4,3,2,6)
Paul T 18 (2,3,5,1,7)

12th December, 6pm - LATE

Yuletide salutations,
You are cordially invited to a relaxing evening of mulled wine, mince pies, reasonable music *and* indoor crazy-golf at St Aloysius social club in Euston next Sunday (12 December).
Join crazy-golfing celebrities Tim "Ace-Man" Davies, "Big Top" Ted McIver + Michael "Bad Boy" Webb (among others). £1 optional entry fee. Please invite anyone else who you think might enjoy such an event.