2004 International British Open Minigolf Tournament

Stratford-upon-Avon, 18-19 September 2004

 

Stratford upon Avon, minigolf and no hackneyed wordplay on a certain 17th century playwright -hurrah. Though Radio 5 soon exhausted the puns. All mention of William S is now Bard. Also notable on Radio 5's broadcast was their inability to pin down the British number one for a few words, his newly signed contract with Hello magazine precludes any other media commitments.
The absence of previous winners Thomas Zeininger, Heinz Weber and Christian Zimmerman meant finally the British nation could seriously hope to end the long wait for a home-grown winner.
In atrocious weather conditions the rain-saturated competitors practiced long and hard on Thursday and Friday. For an hour and a half on the Saturday morning blue skies started to dry out the water sodden players as they squeezed in a few extra practice shots on the course. However just as life president Peter Parr announced the groups a further downpour drenched the Midlands.

Round one 
Considering the playing conditions the scores were exceptional - earlier the cut was predicted at around 80, this looked far too high when tour rookies Nigel Keal, Richard Johnston, Paul Moore and Ian Sleight handed in their scores. Youthful prodigy Rocky Bullin netted a 39. Those that shot forty plus were looking nervously at where the cut would be made.

Second round
They say the second album is always the most difficult. And likewise minigolf ,where composing a good second round is always a struggle - it proved so for British minigolf international Steven Gow, also Ian Parker who shot 49 after a 38 and Steve Vallory who struggled like Frankie goes to Hollywood to recreate their former brilliance.
Continuing the Frankie theme the figure hugging leather cat suit of Big top Ted McIver provoked much media interest-looking like the gimp from pulp fiction his 36 eased him into fourth place. Despite the terror of the previous evening when the snuffling of ravenous hedgehogs kept him and Tim Davies awake in their two-man tent.
Ahead lay Dr Keith Kellard Professor of puttology and Jonny Angel playing heavenly minigolf. Top of the pile though was little known Belgian Thierry Cruybeeck. Sunday promised tussles with the man from Brussels.

Third round (2nd day)
Those who survived the cut must have felt like Noah as they approached the course. The waters had receded, the sun was gleaming upon the slopes of Mount Ararat (otherwise known as the fifth) and though no doves could be seen there was a preponderance of water fowl. 
Jon Angel pushed the boat out with six aces but fell foul of the treacherous and unlucky 13th carding a 4, however a British record equalling 32 (again) meant he moved up to top spot alongside Thierry Cruybeeck. Keith Kellard slipped slightly with an excellent 34 but still stayed in the top 3. Jacques Henderickx seemed to have lost his bearings and slid inexorably back into the chasing pack with, for him, an uninspiring 36. Ace Man moved into the top 4 alongside Ted McIver with a cultured 33 including five aces.
The super final placings seemed to be taking shape. A number of players would be fighting for fourth place only, the leading group of three seemed to have put a lot of water between them and the chasing pack- and believe me there was a lot of water going around that weekend.

Fourth round
Minigolf though is like monopoly-you're going along fine ,and then you land on Mayfair on-which your opponent has just built a hotel. As Thierry posted a 33, the previously unflustered and unruffled play of Keith and Jon started to change - on the 13th they were on maximum fluster and ruffle, where they both carded fives and neither could repair the damage, ending up with 40 & 41 respectively. None of the chasing groups were aware of their calamity. The second group of Andre Kuhn, Ted McIver and Tim Davies were fighting for their very survival or so they thought. Coming to the last hole both McIver and Davies were level, either of them could still go crashing out of the tournament as neither had heard the scores from the other groups. Andre Kuhn was a cumulative two shots adrift. Incredibly both Hastings players made threes on one of the easiest holes on the course and even more strangely both qualified for the super final. Kuhn parred to head for a play-off for fifth.
Further down the leader board it had been a wretched day for Robert Vallory - arch rival Lionel Bender had beaten him by a country mile , then started to explain to Robert where he had gone wrong. It was all too much for Mr Vallory, who disappeared as quickly as possible back to Welwyn Garden City

Super final
In the super final the 3 remaining British players decided to work together to put some pressure on Thierry and eat into his 6 shot lead. Davies and McIver both got ones on the first, Angel bagged one on the fourth and the British players were high.
It was on the fifth though that the wings of Icarus melted and they plunged back to earth- Davies got a 3, Angel a 5 and McIver's attempt to ace the hole backfired monstrously as the ball bounced off the back wall up the plateau past the hole down the plateau and half way back down the fairway. He took a five - he felt like he was playing for the American Ryder cup team.
Thierry notched up another 2-it looked like the cup was going out the country for yet another year. Thierry's final round comprised 9 aces and 9 pars, the best round ever seen on a British course - his ball apparently trained to go down the hole.
Life President Peter Parr felt that even Heinz Weber, this years European Champion, would have struggled to match him. It really was a pleasure to watch for spectators and competitors alike.
The only battle taking place now was for second spot. Angel and McIver both dropped shots over the following few holes. Jon in particular had to deal with a wide array of distractions -a brass band playing "There's no business like show business" as he prepared to tee off on the twelfth an ear splitting peel of church bells as he took his second putt on the twelfth and a photographers mobile phone on the seventh - at least he didn't have to contend with a streaker, well not this year.
In Contrast Ted McIver wearing a Deutschland away minigolf top was inspired on the 17th by the band unaccountably launching into Deutschland Deutschland uber alles - naturally he aced the hole.
This teutonic tonic came too late though, despite a handful of aces McIver had not pegged back his arch nemesis Ace Man Davies.
On two holes when it looked like Tim would drop a shot he saved the day with a wonder shot - on the 9th he played his second shot out of a water filled ditch into the hole and on the thirteenth when there was no clear way to the hole he played a subtle rebound shot that negotiated the plateau and plopped into the hole.
It was the 16th when victory nearly came McIver's way the ball looking to fall in the hole but instead cruelly bounced off the lip and swung away to the left.
Ted had never putted from there but ,oh woe, if only he had read his programme - for there in the back there was advice and a diagram on how to play from the left side-aim for the right lip. McIver looked at the hole and decided to aim for the left lip-game over.
And so it was Ace Man Davies -looking like a scarecrow the farmer had chucked out for being too scruffy, that deservedly scooped second place. Once again the Hastings duo were 2nd and 3rd in the British Open. Who says nice guys only come second? And no one normally cares who came third.
Both players were pleased with their performance-Tim was made up at coming second and Ted was amazed he even got into the super final.
Thierry though was the star of the day-27 followed by a twenty minute photo shoot-and Eamonn Holmes says its not a game of skill!! Wittering on endlessly about nothing at all, that takes skill. What does he want? Leather sofas for the spectators?

In the Play offs for fifth place Andre beat the luckless Keith on the second with an ace - infuriating for Keith as it was Kuhn's first ace on the hole.
In the novice play off Chris Harding beat Nigel Keal again on the second to round off a super weekend for the talented Midlander. The day before he had made the players championship final.
The only downbeat note was Coventry's 0-0 draw with Rotherham.

Where now for the British Open, the top competition in the BMGA calendar?
This was the best so far, can it get any better? Can a Briton finally lift the title?
A return to Hastings in 2005 should see the best opportunity along with a ban on Heinz Weber, Thierry Cruybeeck and Christian Zimmerman.
So ends the final act.

Words: Ted McIver

  Rd.1 Rd.2 Rd.3 Rd.4 Final Total Average
1  Thierry Cruybeeck  (BEL) 34 31 35 33 27*** 160 32.00
2  Tim Davies 36 37 33 34 35 175 35.00
3  John McIver 34 36 36 34 36 176 35.20
4  Jon Angel 32** 36 32** 41 38 179 35.80
5  Andrι Kuhn  (GER)* 37 37 33 35 — 142 35.50
6  Keith Kellard 33 35 34 40 — 142 35.50
7  Jacques Henderickx  (BEL) 33 39 36 38 — 146 36.50
8  Michael Webb 37 36 36 37 — 146 36.50
9  Chris Harding N* 38 36 38 35 — 147 36.75
10  Nigel Keal N 35 36 37 39 — 147 36.75
11  Ernst Hόbner  (AUT) 41 34 34 40 — 149 37.25
12  Ruth Bullin 38 36 38 38 — 150 37.50
13  Lionel Bender 36 40 40 35 — 151 37.75
14  Paul Moore 37 39 37 39 — 152 38.00
15  Steve Gow 34 41 39 40 — 154 38.50
16  Ian Sleight N 37 40 39 39 — 155 38.75
17  James Trubridge N 42 35 42 39 — 158 39.50
18  Roy Harper N 39 38 38 43 — 158 39.50
19  Brad Shepherd N 38 39 40 44 — 161 40.25
20  Robert Vallory 38 36 43 46 — 163 40.75
21  Phill Huxley N 40 35 45 54 — 174 43.50
22  Richard Johnston N 36 40 w/d w/d — 76 38.00
23  Nicky Dexter N 43 34 w/d w/d — 77 38.50
24  Andy Matthews 39 38 w/d w/d — 77 38.50
25  Steve Vallory 34 44 — — — 78 39.00
26  Joe Vallory 40 38 — — — 78 39.00
27  James Dexter N 41 38 — — — 79 39.50
28  William Maby N 41 38 — — — 79 39.50
29  Russ Dent 38 41 — — — 79 39.50
30  Bill Bullin 44 37 — — — 81 40.50
31  Rocky Bullin 39 42 — — — 81 40.50
32  Mitchell Vallory 39 42 — — — 81 40.50
33  Patrick Coffey N 41 40 — — — 81 40.50
34  George Chapman N 41 40 — — — 81 40.50
35  Geoff Bowen N 43 39 — — — 82 41.00
36  Martin Dexter N 39 43 — — — 82 41.00
37  Michael King 45 38 — — — 83 41.50
38  Graham Southern 44 40 — — — 84 42.00
39  Martin Vallory 43 41 — — — 84 42.00
40  Dave Golding N 43 42 — — — 85 42.50
41  Sally Weddell 42 43 — — — 85 42.50
42  Ian Parker 38 49 — — — 87 43.50
43  Chris Jones N 43 49 — — — 92 46.00
44  Deryk Masters N (AUS) 48 46 — — — 94 47.00
45  Ben Dexter N 51 55 — — — 106 53.00

* Denotes player placed higher following play-off.

N  Denotes novice.

** Equals BMGA record

*** New course record (9 aces and 9 twos)

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